Mind. Meaning.Matter: Memory & Metamorphosis
How memories rebuild themselves, why knowledge crumbles into tomorrow's artifacts, and the delicate difference between trauma bonds and our collective wounds.
As practitioners, we're witnessing the impact of global instability, democratic erosion, and systematic dismantling of human rights. In this newsletter, together, we'll decode the whispers of societal change, chase curiosity down unexplored pathways, and learn to dance with uncertainty rather than stumble through it.
Consider this your invitation to a different kind of exploration. One where we map the invisible geography of trauma, chart courses through turbulent waters, and discover new ways for our minds and bodies to find their rhythm in a world that's forgotten how to waltz. Let's make sense of the senseless, find ways to heal the wounds, and turn our collective confusion into constellations of change.
Mind
Memory isn't a perfect snapshot - it's more like a puzzle that reassembles itself each time we look at it. This fascinating process, called Reconsolidation, means our memories actually become fluid when we recall them, temporarily dissolving before rebuilding themselves anew.
Every time we dive into the past, our minds are secretly conducting an orchestra of reconstruction, with our current emotions and expectations playing first chair.
This explains why your friend's vivid recollection of that road trip might feel like an alternate reality to yours - both memories dance to different emotional rhythms, even though they spring from the same moment in time.
This discovery shattered our neat, filing-cabinet theory of memory. Instead of pristine records waiting to be retrieved, we found a living, breathing system that reimagines itself with every remembering.
So next time you're wandering down memory lane, pause and wonder:
How much of what you're seeing is the original photograph, and how much is your mind's artistic interpretation?
Meaning
Welcome to the strange dance of Obsolescence; that relentless cosmic tide that sweeps our creations into yesterday's treasure chest.
Every innovation we craft is secretly racing against its own shadow. New technologies don't just arrive - they devour their ancestors whole, transforming yesterday's marvels into tomorrow's artifacts.
Technical obsolescence occurs when newer technologies make existing ones irrelevant or incompatible.
Functional obsolescence happens when newer solutions provide significantly better capabilities.
Knowledge obsolescence affects human skills and expertise; necessitating continuous learning and methodology updates.
Planned obsolescence happens when companies deliberately design products to become outdated.
Our own knowledge, those carefully collected gems of expertise, shimmer and fade like mirages, demanding we become perpetual students in this carnival of change. Perhaps the real adventure isn't in outrunning this magnificent chaos. Instead, it's in learning to surf these waves of change, crafting adaptive strategies that turn this wild dance of obsolescence into a thrilling journey of perpetual reinvention.
Matter
Let's dive into the curious case of stolen words, where meanings morph like shapeshifters in Supernatural, and clinical clarity dissolves into the foggy realm of wellness influencers. This month, I want to unravel two fascinating specimens: the trauma bond and its frequently confused cousin, woundology.
The clinical definition of a trauma bond is a deep emotional attachment that develops between a victim and their abuser, typically seen in abusive relationships. This bond forms when the abuser alternates between positive and abusive behavior, creating a confusing cycle of hope and fear for the victim.
Trauma bonds are maintained by the victim's hope for change and fear of leaving the abuser, often combined with feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-worth. It's a survival mechanism that makes the victim feel emotionally stuck and dependent on their abuser, even though the relationship is harmful.
In recent years, trauma bond has become a buzzword in pop psychology and self-help circles. However, the term is often misused, leading to confusion and trivialization of a serious issue. Here are some common ways it's misused:
Overgeneralization: In pop psychology, trauma bond is sometimes used to describe any difficult or challenging relationship, diluting its true meaning.
Oversimplification: Self-help resources often present trauma bonds as merely toxic relationships, overlooking the deep psychological mechanisms involved.
Misapplication: The term is sometimes applied to normal relationship conflicts, leading to misunderstanding and undermining those truly affected by abusive dynamics.
What worries me is that this leads to incomplete or harmful advice. Trauma bonds are a complex and deeply ingrained psychological response to abuse, characterized by a paradoxical loyalty and attachment to the abuser. Understanding them requires recognizing the cyclical and manipulative nature of abuse, as well as the profound impact it has on the victim's emotional and psychological well-being.
Woundology vs. Trauma Bonds
So what would the correct term be to define toxic relationships formed around shared trauma? I feel that it's Woundology, a term gifted to us by Caroline Myss. Unlike trauma bonds, woundology describes something entirely different - the peculiar phenomenon where people collect around their wounds like moths to a flame, forming relationships that pulse with shared pain.
Think of it as a communal wound, a collective story of suffering where individual traumas weave together into a tapestry of shared hurt. These relationships aren't forged in the fire of abuse but in the echo chamber of mutual pain, where healing often takes a backseat to the comfort of common wounds.
So here we stand, at the crossroads of clinical precision and cultural confusion, and as practitioners, we're called to be cartographers of clarity, mapping these distinctions with care and precision, helping our clients navigate back to solid ground.
Making Sense
Non-traditional podcasts and videos to help you make sense of the world.
Why does it feel like things are falling apart? An exploration on how we experience the world in a time of global instability. :: Watch ::
The world will be different very soon. The future will expose the inherent flaws in our relationship with work, technology, and identity. :: Watch ::
It’s never too late. To step off the path you’re on, and step onto an entirely new one :: Watch ::
No. The world is not falling apart. At the end of the day, do you choose to love life in spite of everything :: Watch ::